Blog June 3, 2021

The Enlightened Garage

You may have heard that the garage is the “new room” in the house. Aimed generally at men who don’t have a man cave space in the house — or something to be more comfortable in while serving time in the doghouse — this concept is to justify spending money to transform the two-car, haphazard storage/unauthorized mouse haven/dust bin into something to be proud of. That usually includes at least a Kegerator. That is not a device to remove mice.

Depending on the amount of pride involved, this project can crash straight through the household budget, landing right in the middle of the retirement account. The first step is usually, “I’ll just paint the concrete floor with that special sparkly epoxy paint.” But once that is done, well, Katie will have a heck of a time trying to bar the new insulated garage door, finished & painted interior walls and ceiling, upgraded electrical panel to power the recessed can lighting, sound system, said Kegerator, and old flat-screen TV that never made it to Craig’s List. Let’s not omit cabinets and counters specially styled just for this “new room.” And an auxiliary heating system. Most of football season happens after t-shirt weather.

To be sure, both cars will have their space inside this paragon of paternalism, but just. They might be in the driveway, though, during the Game(s). And other times. Let’s
not forget décor, which in this case is an inappropriate use of the term. A better one might be “stuff not allowed in the house.” Men are really good at collecting and treasuring these things. I know this because my wife told me.

Wait! What about the lawn mower? Garden and yard tools? Skis/boots/poles, summer tires/Halloween-Christmas-other seasonal decorations/and everything else that was haphazardly stuffed into nooks and crannies in the garage? Um, how about a new storage shed?!!! Gosh, you could even store potting soil in there, honey!

And really, it is perfectly suitable for other uses, like a book club or baby shower! But not if the car needs an oil change, or waxing, or there is any kind of sporting event on. But of course, there is the value it will add to the house! Yes– if the next buyer has also bought into this whole concept and wears the same good-luck sox on game day.

Otherwise, not so much. And that is the kink. These garages are just glorified 450- square-foot rec rooms you can park your cars in. If you really need or value that additional space, then perhaps this is something to consider. But be realistic when it comes time to move. Your return on investment will likely be pennies on the dollar. Good news, though, you can unplug the Kegerator and take it with you.